No, this is not a post about our wonderful first year of marriage--though the picture in the previous post should convince you that we're enjoying this "tandem bicycle ride" that is marriage:). I'm talking about a different kind of togetherness, the kind that I'm learning to appreciate more and more as I live in this land that prizes the group over the individual .
Yesterday, I invited my English Bible Class readers over to our apartment to make nabe. Nabe is kind of like soup...the flavors and ingredients can vary, and it is sometimes cooked at the dinner table (or kotatsu, in our case) on a portable gas range. To prepare for our nabe party, Shizuka, Izumi and I met at a nearby grocery store, shopped together for the ingredients, and then came to our apartment to begin the chopping, washing and cooking. The whole process, from start to finish, was lots of fun. And our end product, kimchee nabe, made for a delightful lunch.
Now, it's not that I think people in America or other countries wouldn't find this kind of experience enjoyable. But it was a perfect activity to do with Japanese friends. Doing things together, even if it's a bit more difficult or more time consuming, is highly valued here. That means that, when your school staff gets together to serve school lunch, it's a good idea to help out. Even if that means two people serve the food and three people set out the dishes when one person could easily take care of the whole thing. A few people might even stand around and watch, or comment on the menu for the day, or offer their opinion as to how the chopsticks should be arranged on the tray. But the important thing is that everyone is there, "helping out."
Sometimes, I think togetherness is wonderful. I try to consciously love and embrace this aspect of Japanese culture. But, sometimes, my American mind can't help be frustrated by the perceived lack of efficiency. I want to tell people, "you know, if we all split up and tackled these tasks separately, we'd be done in half the time and do a better job. Doesn't anyone care about EFFICIENCY?!?" Then, I realize, maybe they don't. Maybe not in the way I do. Maybe there is something more important here than accomplishing a job as quickly as possible on my own. That's tough to remember, and sometimes it doesn't seem like a good idea at all. But, after a great afternoon of cooking nabe with some friends, I can see that togetherness can be a truly great thing. Even if I could have made nabe on my own, in half the time, it wouldn't have tasted quite as good.
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